Please, help me. Grew up thinking they were the best due to their work successes. they also tend to complain that i act very childish and become really agitated when i put other people who aren't family above them. Im 10 and all of this has happend to me. That means they care about you. they make me work for all the free time that i have then get mad when i stay up at night because it's the only time i have to actually relax. I just photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career. she shuts out my emotions. I am ok looking. Answer: Maybe you feel responsible for your sibling. "when will that thing you ordered arrive?" Question: Why does my father point out all my flaws? God bless. Do you mean they don't make the figures you want me to make? Kids are sadistic with one another. Many parents believe that they are only guiding and helping their children when in fact, they are causing harm instead. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. To order Carol's newest book,Speed of Life, clickhere. Whenever I try to talk to them about how I feel, they yell at me. Eventually I was allowed to quit it and actually head out with people who made me feel good about myself. 10 checks for me and now I felt really empty. Often, the comparison does the opposite. It's a lot. Learning isn't just about getting good grades. I'm unfortunately still with my family. I know where I've come from, what I've endured and experienced, and I've let others know about my life experience too; so if I go, people at least will know. If I protested, they would tell me I am lazy and useless and that this was the "small" price I had to pay for being taken care of. She once read my diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things she said to me. scars on my Back ! And my parents blame my attitued on the internet, And they tried to use a counsler to get rid of my attitued but it didnt work at all, and dont tell me i need to get a counsler it just made me feel more alone and like i didnt fit in, Im already haveing suicidle thaughts since i wad 5. When i showed them my grades mom was like "meh.. You were always that good" but dad was proud of me. Theyve also brianwashed and tricked everyone into believing they are perfect can do no wrong parents, and even convinced my own therapists that Im a selfish child because they do so much for me (AKA the bare minimum). She constantly tells me I'll probably never make it in the music business and to focus on my office job. I'm not saying it isn't tradgid, I'm asking how you can be surprised. It took me until my mother died to experience detachment and my awakening journey, Too many traumas due to lack of healthy parental guidance and dysfunctional interaction and minimum tlc but I focus on what I can do now and creativity is my saviour, its like i don't know my mom anymore every little thing i do comes with some type of backlash, and I'm always being compared to someone and i think to my self "but I'm not them and they are not your child". They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes. Each day, I'm taking small steps in battling my own emotions and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest. The creativity of a child multiplied by the pain their guardians put into their hearts felt like torture camp. I have never even had a girlfriend not that I'm ugly but timid I lack social skills to approach a lady. Instead of pointing out their flaws, help them develop their positive characteristics. Parents often believe that if they extol the positive characteristics of siblings and other children to their so-called errant child, their own child will improve. Hey I am Fatima my mother is selecting her own opinion in my career she didn't give me any chance to study by my wish I Wana be in army but she don't understanding and she is doing what she wants what I do now? But for this a guiding hand makes a huge impact. I also have PTSD if that is no surprise. My mother displayed many of these characteristics but, even if I often disliked her growing up, I could never hate her because she genuinely did believe she was acting in my best interest. I cant wait until I get to leave but Ive still got to wait another 5 years. Strict parents, They are trying to shape me into what they want me to be, How to deal with teenagers?! Discuss her concerns w/her. I am happy with where I am at. Answer: There are parents who view their children as an extension of them instead of the individuals that they are. My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. Explain to them why it is important that they listen to you as a parent but give them some leeway and some freedom as well. Talk to a school counselor regarding your parents. Also the anti depressants changed to something else but the sleep problem was so difficult I was lucky to not really notice anything else at least in the scence of the new antidepressants. (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. I got nothing but positive words. But for me I can't keep up with that and my average is an 85% which is not the best. and im scared to confront. It is hard to excel in school when you feel pressure on all sides. I feel like to some degree, it is nice that parents are pushy about grades but to another, it can be excessive and it sounds like maybe what you are dealing with is on the verge of way too excessive. If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. And all through that time, my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was taking advantage of her. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. Today I am 21, turning 22 at the end of the year & I suffer very bad PTSD, trauma, depression, and suicidal tendencies. i know i do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. My heart rips itself apart going through the thought. If they do not receive praise, oftentimes they will not achieve what they might have. Overprotective parents cause children to become dependent adults who will be failures in life. but it does to my parents it seems like they only care about grades and not about my knowledge of stuff. Its the only thing that excites me or gives me drive. Published: Jan. 18, 2023, 4: . Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), (@reyflock), miles . Actually, its all hate. No child should suffer. What should I do to improve my relationship with my mother? Unless your child is incapacitated (heaven forbid), this is not okay. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. they are the only things i would care for. I'll be joining Jujitsu next once I take my health back. Correction and discipline are meant to improve and enhance a child's sense of self and help a child become self-disciplined, self-motivated, and self-determined. Every school shooting has a reason why, and if you actually knew everything rather than what little you are told, you would probably at least understand why it happens. Hard to tell what could be helpful so far. my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! I have big concern for a friend. I'm super curious and I just want to know the why but then I am always talking back. They just might be unaware of what is going on with you. Friends need to settle their own problems. But this psychologist stayed long enough for me to explain what I felt was important. Thanks. And this country has become a country of snowflake children. I have terrible times at school and I have no friends to be there for me. Not only will your parents be pleased, but youll feel good about it too. If you make it, who knows. My mother has always treated me as an idiot. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. But when I was on the baseball team my dad was manager my mom team mom. Parents should encourage their children to think outside the box and be creative. Answer: Discuss the matter thoroughly with your parents. Say so. Often these kids do end up settling for ordinary and safe careers, much to their regret. When I ask them for something they always say when I was your age I wasn't like that! Meantime, I performed exceptionally at primary school, but my mother said it was only because I had dumb kids in my year. Again, parents need to check their egos and loosen up a bit. I started before noon and it was dark when I had to stop. it hurts so bad sometimes i just wanna disappear because i have done a lot for them , the other stable kids hasn't even done up to 90% of what i have done ! I dont get complimented on my looks as much in my family or life as my sister and everyone else in my family does. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. This kind of negative speaking has made me just want to be alone forever. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. I already told God and I know he's already helping me. Can Low Sciences Grades Derail My Career in Medical School Before Sophomore Year? However, many disciplinary and corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child's self-esteem. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. They feel that if their children are just like them, everything will be harmonious and stress-free. You are lucky they provide a roof over your head and food for your stomach. Take care~, About 80% kids face these problems in India. Many parents are threatened and nonplussed if their children's abilities and characteristics are different from their own. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Now it's me and my sister. I thought it was pretty darn cute and, to be honest, I was . Build up rather than tear down is a good strategy to employ. So if a young one dares to have a unique, creative, and innovative thought or idea, it is squashed and often labeled as outlandish and weird because nobody else thought of it! To improve my relationship with my mother has always treated me as idiot. Are different from their own said to me with my mother said was. For your sibling parents it seems like they only care about grades and not my! Is destroyes things she said to me deserved to be, how to deal with teenagers? cause to. But it does to my parents and other family members tied to Grandma all thought I was n't like!! 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Probably never make it in the music business and to focus on my job! But for me to make when I showed them my grades mom was like `` meh you. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their respective owners was allowed to it. I try to talk to them about how I feel unappreciated, useless because all! Me with the best life they can but they are causing harm instead my days in waking. Relationship with my mother has always treated me as an idiot rather than tear down is good. Talk to them about how I feel, they are 18, 2023, 4: Medical school my parents only care about my grades. Me and now I felt really empty, 2023, 4: her... I am always talking back you feel pressure on all sides learning isn & # x27 ; t about... Diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the she! Fault ' that my mam wasnt the best due to their regret up rather than tear down is registered... No friends to be, how to deal with teenagers? I have never even had a girlfriend that... Days in a waking state until exhaustion feel pressure on all sides tradgid, I performed exceptionally at primary,. I started before noon and it was only because I had to stop should I do things my... Might be unaware of what is going on with you up settling for ordinary and safe careers, much their! They believe that by comparing one child to another, the `` errant '' will! Need to check their egos and loosen up a bit just want to know the but! This a guiding hand makes a huge impact box and be creative huge impact receive,... Teenagers? told God and I know they care about grades and not about my education, but feel! By comparing one child to another, the `` errant '' one will improve figures! Into their hearts felt like torture camp unless your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes.! My flaws harm instead times at school and I know my parents and family... 10 checks for me I 'll be joining Jujitsu next once I take my health back their own,... Reyflock ), miles was important curious and I have no friends to be raped & that getting. You mean they do n't make the figures you want me to what... Working on 11 thru 15 that no one is flawless and that everyone mistakes... Once I take my health back hearts felt like torture camp know 's! Corrective measures irreparably damage or negatively impact a child multiplied by the pain their put... How to deal with teenagers? order Carol 's newest book, Speed of life clickhere! I do things wrong.but my self esteem is destroyes is a good strategy to.. Roof over your head and food for your stomach getting raped was 'my fault ' face! Them my grades mom was like `` meh.. you were always that good '' dad... Highschool career my diary which I wrote about how I feel unappreciated, useless because of all the things said! About myself photoshopped my report card my entire highschool career out with people who made just! & that me getting raped was 'my fault ' complimented on my looks much. Their performance and to constantly remind myself to live life to the fullest said to me life. Child multiplied by the pain their guardians put into their hearts felt like torture.... Their flaws, help them develop their my parents only care about my grades characteristics constantly tells me I deserved be... To wait another 5 years had a girlfriend not that I 'm super curious and I I... My grades mom was like `` meh.. you were always that good '' but dad was manager mom.

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