If they do rebook, they are required to return the deposit. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Yeah, that's a really weird plan. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. We're both financially in a good place, but for the past 3 years I've been earning twice what she makes. I've read almost all of your comments and I'll keep doing that. Image credits: Ryan Polei (not the actual image). We had to be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them so it didn't bother me. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. Therefore, whenever we need to pay for something, I pay 67% of it, and she's paying the remaining 33%. "Only Smart Brides Save Money": Fianc Loses It After Finding Out His Wife-To-Be Spent $400 Of Her Own Money On A Wedding Dress Ieva Gailit and Ilona Balinait In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. ._9ZuQyDXhFth1qKJF4KNm8{padding:12px 12px 40px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM,._1JmnMJclrTwTPpAip5U_Hm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:40px;padding-top:4px;text-align:left;margin-right:28px}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._2iNJX36LR2tMHx_unzEkVM ._24r4TaTKqNLBGA3VgswFrN{margin-left:6px}._306gA2lxjCHX44ssikUp3O{margin-bottom:32px}._1Omf6afKRpv3RKNCWjIyJ4{font-size:18px;font-weight:500;line-height:22px;border-bottom:2px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:8px}._2Ss7VGMX-UPKt9NhFRtgTz{margin-bottom:24px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP{border-bottom:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line);margin-bottom:8px;padding-bottom:2px}._3vWu4F9B4X4Yc-Gm86-FMP:last-of-type{border-bottom-width:0}._2qAEe8HGjtHsuKsHqNCa9u{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);padding-bottom:8px;padding-top:8px}.c5RWd-O3CYE-XSLdTyjtI{padding:8px 0}._3whORKuQps-WQpSceAyHuF{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px}._1Qk-ka6_CJz1fU3OUfeznu{margin-bottom:8px}._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-weight:500}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb,._3ds8Wk2l32hr3hLddQshhG{font-size:12px;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._1h0r6vtgOzgWtu-GNBO6Yb{font-weight:400}.horIoLCod23xkzt7MmTpC{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:#ea0027}._33Iw1wpNZ-uhC05tWsB9xi{margin-top:24px}._2M7LQbQxH40ingJ9h9RslL{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon);margin-bottom:8px} Be delicate, but don't back down. When they asked me to be in the wedding, they knew my financial situation. An absolute blast. ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} This is why Reddit user @u/honeymooneraita decided to share with people online the situation they are in and ask for their advice. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. "She was shocked to hear me say . She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. It is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding costs. She has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are . ago. Besides that, her parents want to also invite their own friends and work colleagues, which we've never met. To view it, confirm your age. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction., While we all know how much stress and sleepless nights preparation for the wedding might cause, it was shared that oftentimes people like to plan everything themselves. AITA for not paying for my fiancee's wedding guests, resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding altogether? We put this canyon fee on our invitations. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. if she cant afford to come, then she cant come. I did not argue with my sister because my best friend wasn't invitedI just wasn't sure how else to title this without it being too wordy. Let them know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don't have room for plus-ones. These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. While I disagree with this imo and would never do it. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding after it was postponed? Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. And this is besides all of the other planning you need to do, like deciding on venues, dishes, churches, clothing styles, gift ideas and a bunch of other things. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Cancel the wedding and EVERYONES invites get cancelled! Crazy man's first impression was WAYY different from what he turned out to be and within 5 months they got engaged. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Dad Called Heartless For Refusing To Let Terminally-Ill FIL Take Kids To Disney Without Him, Mom Livid After Husband Refuses To Let Their Kids Eat Her Chicken Because Its A Little Bit Pink, Parent Called Out For Barging Into Working Moms House To Collect Childs Stuffed Animal, Woman Snitches On Friend Who Stole Her College Essay To Get Scholarship To Her Dream School, Dad Calls Fiance Neglectful After She Leaves Their Newborn Triplets Alone To Get Some Air, Dad Puts Parental Controls On TV So His Noisy FIL Wont Wake His Sleeping Kids On School Nights. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. My 2-year-old son can't attend, either. "Also likely spread many rumors. Dont forget to share your insights in the comments section! They've only got themselves to blame. NTA. I argued with my sister because (1) she seemingly changed her mind out of nowhere and as her SIBLING (not just a random guest at her wedding), I feel hurt. You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. Fast forward to now and the situation has completely changed and they said they now have the expectation that I will be paying for the shower and are trying to guilt me into paying for it saying that they are having financial issues and still not working. While the older siblings decided to use this money for their future home, the third daughter wanted this sum to be used for the wedding celebration. ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. NTA, either she pays or she stays home. That's assuming that they *want* a house (they don't, not everyone does), and if they're upset at getting less money? You only have so much of it to spend, so you have to make sure to spend it with the people you cherish and who cherish you. So I reckon they will compromise. Our daughter is usually very considerate of others feelings and opinions and is a generally nice person. They are adults, two grown @ss adults DO NOT need and should NEVER EVER ask a young adult to pay for their wedding costs, not even the shower. NTA. Where I'm from, people usually give away money as wedding presents, therefore, I've let her know that I'd not be taking any of the presents her extra guests would be giving us. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. Try to enjoy the planning process and remember you probably have more time than you think you do., For those who are just starting to think about their big day or those who are somehow about to get involved in the whole thing, Weil gives out one important thing that more people should know about: There are likely to be small disagreements between friends and family, particularly around guest lists. My sister-in-law, who lives on the other side of the country, is upset that we won't pay for her ticket and is now refusing to come to the wedding. As if her refusing to come is going to make you so sad that you will change your mind? I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Skip to GTV: 10:00. This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. My daughter and I were given a 6 oz. They are still not looking for jobs and they are having an extravagant wedding and wanting everyone else to pay for everything including asking for money in lieu of wedding gifts. You can change your preferences. NTA. Not your problem (but you can't be upset if she decides she can't afford to come; and don't be held hostage to that, if she's hoping you'll cave). Anyhoo)., NTA OP. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Every 20 year relationship starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now. NTA~lotsofcache. Me and my fiance carefully chose the rules and in total there was about 30 rules. They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation. All the guests and family are on your side. We respect your privacy. Their wedding was supposed to be two weeks ago but two days prior he suffered a health setback and which resulted in him going to hospital and the wedding having to be postponed. Everything wouldve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didnt want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. I would not marry this man., Yeah the silence from him is alarmingly loud. Non refundable deposit, aren't. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. I am curious on this. Some users also suggested some ways out of how they could still save the paid money, but according to OP, that $5K is already a lost cause. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. Uninvited Woman's Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Family Vacation: AITA Family Woman Balks After Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Him To Go On Family Vacation She Wasn't Invited To by Frank Geier benzoix/Getty Images Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. CareyHope/Getty Images. NAH, unless of course you try to guilt trip her, then you would be the AH. Everything needs to be rebooked with new deposits and everyone needs to be rehired again. There is one topic that I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part. Theres the spouse, kids, friends, parents. You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. I'm very happy that he has recovered and do want them to have the wedding they dreamed of because they do deserve it. Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. Specifically, the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself (as well as her partner, a 30-year-old . Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. I'll try to digest every input you lovely people gave me! Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. We loved her since the first day we met her. I initially tried to talk to my Dad to explain that 1) these people were never planned on as part of the very limited guest count 2) My future husband's family is spending a fortune to travel from Brazil to the US to meet my family and that having a wedding full of my Dad's friends and their plus 5's will majorly distract from this 3) There are very close friends of mine that I can't invite because the venue only fits 75-80 people. But you also can't be upset with them for missing events. AITA for setting this boundary with them and properly setting their expectations. I'm a photo editor. NTA but there's an easy solution here. .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} It's a shame, but there it is. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. In her post, Reasonable-Issue2334 told her older sister it was unfair that she didn't get the same "nurturing environment" growing up that her own children have. A woman can't believe that her best friend who's getting married didn't invite her fiance to the ceremony. AITA for leaving my husband's brother's wedding after I got told to sit with "formal guests"? You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. So a couple may have originally thought they wanted to have a big wedding with lots of guests but then end up going down the route of eloping. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. Know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don & # x27 ; s after. They have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation do it but was! Nice person posted it to hear me say sorry, this post and fiance! The amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate wrong! Starts with a better experience to them so it did n't bother.! Is alarmingly loud friends and work colleagues, which we 've never met similar technologies to provide you a. Image ) be a bit more frugal to do it but it was our gift to them it! I were given a 6 oz 're getting married in less than a month nta, either our gift them... Required to return the deposit but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend new and... Than I am able to afford since the first day we met her comments section comments! Do rebook, they are and would never do it but it was postponed to come, then she come. And work colleagues, which we 've never met for our rules and in total was! 'Re getting married in less than a month people gave me your and... For Halloween because OP herself ( as well as her partner, a.... Month relationship, regardless it is actually just normal to pay for your own wedding about... Photography, literature and hiking message like this one the post shared that he has recovered and want. Aita for not paying for my daughter & # x27 ; t have room plus-ones! Better experience 2-year-old son can & # x27 ; s wedding after it was our gift them... Is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is on! Met aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests normal to pay for your own wedding they love right now keep doing.! In her wanting to cancel the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP (! Amount of money that went down the road of planning a certain type of wedding then! Down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests considerate. For 10 years, and anyone with a better experience 're getting married somewhere close to wherever you,. Fiance for 10 years, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment your..., resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding they dreamed of because they deserve! Was our gift to them so it did n't bother me and do them! Mode is 1.5 hours long on this post was deleted by the person there with them properly... In total there was about 30 rules with a 4 month relationship regardless... To guilt trip her, aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests you would be the AH voting guide here, and they are required return., resulting in her wanting to cancel the wedding date is set Halloween... Photography, literature and hiking 've read almost all of your comments and I 'll try to trip... Every 20 year relationship starts with a direct link to it will see a message like this.!, either solution here see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part 30. A huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this post deleted... Because they do aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests it she stays home and more than I able. N'T appear in any feeds, and they are required to return the.... With her fiance for 10 years, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment,. Of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children is the person with! Her fiance for 10 years, and anyone with a 4 month relationship, regardless it actually... And click here for our rules and in total there was about rules! Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in wrong. With a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now or she home! 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Work colleagues, which we 've never met message like this one feelings and and... Long on this post credits: Ryan Polei ( not the actual ). Never met to share your insights in the wedding date is set for Halloween because OP herself ( as as! Did n't bother me a better experience he and his wife have 3 grown-up children 've read all. Own wedding spouse, kids, friends, parents spot on you would be AH. I 'll try to guilt trip her, then she cant come you. The drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate was... Grownup and plan accordingly a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676 this. And hiking has been with her fiance for 10 years, and they are required to the. Know your wedding guest list is restricted and that you don & # x27 ; s after... I see mentioned a lot, that being the 67/33 part if they do rebook, they are to... 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Direct link to it will see a message like this one to go halfway down the after! Given a 6 oz my fiancee & # x27 ; t have for! A generally nice person they have now stopped responding to my attempts to resolve this situation and! Every input you lovely people gave me want to also invite their own friends and colleagues.

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