We celebrate holidays at my ex bro-in-laws house, maintain the close relationship that we had nothing changed for us. His family doesn't think it's a big deal either although I'm the only one who has to put up with an ex coming to family functions. Hes not a healthy person, and hes extremely selfish. They are also divorced and not once have I contacted their ex. Unfortunately, some families are toxic and dont care for their family member. Im so tired of hearing about him at every family function, and hearing about all the time hes spent with family members. think they would ever believe there was a completely different side to him. },{ At the end of the day YOUR family should be there for you and his family there for him! I split with my abusive ex and my Dad, stepmum and siblings sided with my ex and wouldnt uninvite him to a family wedding even though I had just fled my home! My father had obviously been holding onto bitterness since my Mother left and that combined with his selfish nature has cost him dearly but I honestly think it doesnt bother him. If he's not willing to change? Her ex husband is not entitled to them. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! There is a lot of jealousy towards me from them. So suppose that he compares you to his ex, and he doesnt realize that hes hurting you? I try to focus on all the good things in my life and the friends that have stood by my side and whom I call my unbiological family., Something similar has happened to me. If they continue a over the top relationship its because they are being selfish.. they dont want to go through a break up too. Your are one of the last people left that lets there kids live there life and be happy. How Often And When Do They Communicate? WOW Its the fact that none of them have considered how I feel. They said they wanted to remain impartial (which was bad enough) but then they spent hours sympathising with him, spoon fed him information that caused him to behave more abusively to me/the other side of my family and basically said I was exaggerating etc and that it was all in my head. I think you must have been doing a lot of toxic shit yourself and your family know alot ofdirt you did to a good man..your family bonded more with him than with you what does that say about you.blood is not thicker than water thats bullshit.by them still havent ng love for him makes people question your character.. I totally feel your pain. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily. Ouch!! My mother invites him and his wife over for dinner and they get together for birthdays and Christmas and they all exchange gifts. One night we had some drinks . This is child abuse if you ask me. So my question is, how is divorced life working out for ya? My problem is that his ex-live-in lover is still invited to all family functions, and he even invites her to his house for events like the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and even Christmas. However, men rarely understand the impact of certain actions, thats why they sometimes send you mixed signals. The same goes for texting her. But they still side with him and he has driven a wedge between her and her family. And she needs to have a hart to hart with herself as to why she hates her ex so much. I am so sorry for your loss. Your kids will understand. Sad, sad, sad. Ask your self why this is happenedIm sure you will found the answer.. As my kids have grown. Im told that my sister is friends with her ex and have them over for family functions and I should suck it up. After all, its when a man introduces his new girlfriend to his closest ones that he officially replaces his ex. I asked why she lied and she simply said she didnt want to hurt my feelings. And that hurts, the only way I cope is to not have much to do with them, and try not to ask what theyve all done together, it will always cause you pain if you dont find a way to disconnect from them. Why? over you. It was very hard to no that all my family turned against me and that he plays a big part in their life. My father remains in contact with him and goes to their house. The ex needs to get his own life and stop casting a shadow on yours. I am lucky because my grownup children love me a lot and we are very close. male Its creepy that your ex and family think that it is ok to exclude you and choose him It seems like hes a manipulator and wants to get back at you. Unfortunately you realize no one has integrity, I have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i met a post where this man Robinsonbuckler (@) y ah oo . I realise my ex was running me down for years. I Completely understand this situation. It hurts like hell but nothing you can do apart from cutting them off completely for your own mental well being. She stayed in. Your reply is an insult to good people who trusted their partners implicitly and did everything they could to make it work only to find out they had been used and betrayed by their ex who then made themselves out to be the victim. In closing, if you have doubts about the boundaries your boyfriend has or doesn't have with his ex, you need to talk to him and ask him for an honest answer: is he in it for the kid and the friendship, or is he still in love? I understand your pain but you are a grown man and its not your exes fault you have no solid family of your own. OMG! They all hang out together all the time, it feels like I am the one who got replaced, it should be the other way round, there is no need for them to be so close, its plain weird. It has taken 13 years, and I still have moments. These two guys were never super close. You don't have to cut an ex's family out entirely after a breakup. She knows how it makes my boyfriend feel. I just wish the families would see how bad it hurts and do the right thing. The other suggests that I should try to just accept that this is the way things are going to be. And no she cant make her family choose, however, shes is their mother and full time care giver, is she is well supported and feels safe emotionally and mentally THEN the kids will be in a better position. I shouldnt have to feel that way in order to spend time with my family, and I dont think my kids should have to see me like that either. That is very hurtful. It doesnt matter how much time has passed! } Thats why its called a DIVORCE you need to get them to understand that. I know he still wants to be in my families life to hurt me. False. My ex also dumped my stuff at my Dads and my Dad wouldnt drive 7 miles to my Mums to drop it off! We was married for 8 years until I caught him running around with his 64 year old mistress. He doesnt need his side mirror to get out of our area. I have 8 months to think about it but I dont know if Im going to wait that long I even told her why dont you just invite him for Christmas we get a divorce for a reason mine was because of mental abuse they dont get it nobody recognizes it they are manipulative he is one up all the time. I understand that this was his second family who he spent over 2 decades with and loves dearly and him wanting to stay close to them, however his ex and him are not cordial with each other at all. In this case, it was my older sister who turned out to be the master manipulator. One thing you can do, is host an extended family gathering of 2nd cousins and ext, and exclude your immediate family, and make it clear why they are being excluded. You need to control your reaction. What I wanted to do was scream at both of them to stop acting like children. So if they want to keep him as a friend thats fine, but it shouldnt mix with family time and holidays. He said he should have done it years ago. Even though your family doesnt seem to care, due to the fact that they are blatantly doing this, I still think its worth voicing how you feel to them (in the most calm way). His mother is a 40 year old unknown woman, and as of now theyre broken up). I lived with it becuse i knew that my 2 children would be cut off from my family. I dont have Facebook because hed stock me, but my family is on there. We maintain a relationship with herbut it will never be the same. This closeness wasnt something I was prepared for. I thought I was the only one who has this problem. Not too long ago she screen shot a message tha. They were all aware that he was an absentee and that he continues to terrorize and abuse me . I totally understand where you are coming from! It's not as if he's bringing the ex around. I feel you. I broached the issue with my family and they turned against me and made me feel like I was the problem. You really need to grow up and do some soul searching. However, it has definitely affected our relationship, as I am cordial with her and our conversations are superficial, as I cannot trust that anything I tell her wont make it back to my Ex. well got a 7 year sentence but knock down to 4 yrs with my testimony. My sister never comes to see me either so her point is completely invalid about that anyway. Your ex sounds like a decent guy but for what ever reason you and he didnt hit it off beyond having kids together. It has been 7 years and i have since moved 8 hours away. From everything Ive read of your account, it feels to me as if you are slowly being erased. So, at least he was no longer too much in my family, I was kinda happy. If they don.t stop the madness and disrespect, join a group with common interests and get yourself a new family. How fair is this, own family? Why miss out on some of lifes greatest memories with family and friends, lifes to short. In retrospect I think it caused huge problems. To take it one step further, my ex-wife was included in my fathers will as a beneficiary in equal part as my brother and me. I didnt tell my family not to talk to her but I made it perfectly clear that I would never speak to her or her family ever again nor would I ever be present at any function that she would attend so please dont invite me to the same functions that she would be invited to. She. I hope they are one big happy family here and reunite in hell! Your family is soooooo completely wrong You should send them a link to this web page and give them the choice him or you And yes You go w the kids You and ur kids should cut all ties If they dont wise up Then you dont need them. My divorce turned my sisters into 2 people I dont even recognize. And in the meantime, you can tell that hes not one hundred percent there. So I let my anger and hatred go, not so he and my family can be happy. The family is way out of line. what kind of family is this?? My family is highly toxic , mentally ,physically abusive . In the middle of the divorce (which was terrible and messy, full of custody battles and terrible fights) she was invited to MY familys barbecue. Im sorry to hear you are being shut out. The original post has several valid points. He also said that he felt like he was married to a good friend and . I packed up and moved to another state once my kids went off to college. Talk to others about it. They all know he was unhappy with her, they know how abusive, mean, shady she was. Just wrong!!! My heart breaks for her everyday and I worry about her constantely. I have been told that they are sorry for treating me so badly and doing what they did but not until my ex manipulated my dads widow out of 25 grand, and refused to give it back, did not pay any of them back for the money they gave him to bankrupt me (30 grand) or the new truck loan one of my brothers cosigned for. I hope the OG can either solve the situation with her folks and ex or let go of the pain. But if constantly brings up old memories of him and his ex, thats a very bad sign. Its never cool when a man compares you to another woman, especially when that woman is his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. I agree completely that your family should respect your wishes of you not wanting to be around your ex husband all of the time and they need prioritize you being at family functions and events over your ex. There is no greater hurt then being hurt by the ones you love most and the ones that were put on this earth to stand by your side through everything, but I cant let them ruin me, my kids need me. Long story short. My father and now ex-wife were in an adjacent room but within earshot. Yeah, hes still thinking about his ex. Do I really have to explain that to you???!!! , and as of now theyre broken up ) that we had nothing changed for us madness... He felt like he was no longer too much in my families life to me! Should suck it up, i was kinda happy remains in contact with him and his family for. His ex-girlfriend or ex-wife mixed signals case, it was very hard to no that all my family against. As my kids have grown and hes extremely selfish bro-in-laws house, maintain the close relationship we! That this is the way things are going to be in my family turned against me and made me like... That hes hurting you???! she simply said she didnt want to hurt me said he. 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